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I hope you find these George Carlin Quotes inspiring and motivational.
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius
There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho
Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do or do not, there is no try.
- Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
No one can give you better advice than yourself.
- Cicero
Those who know how to think need no teachers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus
If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.
- Ram Dass
See life as ugly and painful - if you choose,
or see it as beautiful and joyful.
There is no inherent meaning in life.
We give life its meaning.
It's our Choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
- Anonymous
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The River of Life flows eternally,
with infinite strength,
but with no convictions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- Abraham Lincoln
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill
The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.
Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
- John F. Kennedy
Do no harm.
- from the Hippocratic Oath
The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are no right answers to wrong questions.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell
The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu
Little minds have little worries,
big minds have no time for worries.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong
There's no wrong, only discovery...
- Byron Katie
Listen to all, plucking a feather
from every passing goose,
but, follow no one absolutely.
- Chinese Proverb
Know that time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
You give your own meaning to time, as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no certainty; there is only adventure.
- Roberto Assagioli
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The River of Life has no judgments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict
between thinking and feeling.
- Carl Jung
If a man empties his purse into his head,
no man can take it away from him.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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