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Tim Allen Quotes

I hope you find these Motivational Tim Allen Quotes useful in achieving your personal and career goals in life.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn
care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen

Related topics: Car

Electricity can be dangerous.
My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug.
Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor.
I told him he was grounded.
- Tim Allen

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot.
The judge had suggested I get my act together,
and I took him seriously.
- Tim Allen

Men are pigs.
Too bad we own everything.
- Tim Allen

 

Men are liars.
We'll lie about lying if we have to.
I'm an algebra liar.
I figure two good lies make a positive.
- Tim Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari,
sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
- Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end.
Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end."
Never.
Avoid the area altogether.
Trust me.
- Tim Allen


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Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and
humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy,
they're fun, they do things together,
they're best friends.
Kids learn by example.
If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.
- Tim Allen

Women now have choices.
They can be married, not married, have a job,
not have a job, be married with children,
unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had:
work,
or prison.
- Tim Allen

I basically became a cheerleader because I had a very strict mom.
That was my way of being a bad girl.
- Sandra Bullock

I'm a Mommy's Girl - the strongest influence in my young life was my mom.
- Susie Bright

My sisters and mom raised me to respect women and open doors for them.
- Milo Ventimiglia

I guess I was a mom so late in life,
my daughter was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
- Candice Bergen

If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay.
- Larisa Oleynik

I'm sure that my mom would have been happy with any path I chose.
- Joely Fisher

My mom is definitely my rock.
- Alicia Keys

I auditioned on my own.
I tried to make a mark for myself without anybody's help,
not even Mom's.
- Kate Hudson

I wanted to escape so badly.
But of course I knew I couldn't just give up and leave school.
It was only when I heard my mom's voice that I came out of my hiding place.
- Zhang Ziyi

My mom always said that there would be haters.
Not everyone can love ya.
- Joel Madden

I was always at peace because of the way my mom treated me.
- Martina Hingis

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone.
To put her to sleep, I have to sing "Maria" from West Side Story.
When I hear her snoring, I hang up.
- Adam Sandler

My mom taught us the Serenity Prayer at a young age.
- Toby Keith

Throughout my life, my mom has been the person that
I've always looked up to.
- Mike Krzyzewski

I was a brownie for a day.
My mom made me stop.
She didn't want me to conform.
- Sandra Bullock

Everyone checks out my mom.
My mom's hot.
- Ashley Scott

Only mothers can think of the future -
because they give birth to it in their children.
- Maxim Gorky

What do girls do who haven't any mothers to help them through their troubles?
- Louisa May Alcott

The man in our society is the breadwinner;
the woman has enough to do as the homemaker,
wife and mother.
- Dorothy Fields

My mother used to tell me man gives the award,
God gives the reward.
I don't need another plaque.
- Denzel Washington

Yes, Mother.
I can see you are flawed.
You have not hidden it.
That is your greatest gift to me.
- Alice Walker

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League
uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
- Erma Bombeck

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children.
- Jessica Lange

With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood.
- Isadora Duncan

Morality and its victim, the mother -
what a terrible picture!
Is there indeed anything more terrible,
more criminal, than our glorified sacred function of motherhood?
- Emma Goldman

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect.
Everything gets reduced to essentials.
- Meryl Streep

I am truly my mother's son.
- David Geffen

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? The mother.
- Claudette Colbert

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.
- Arnold Bennett

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face.
- George Eliot

There are only two things a child will share willingly;
communicable diseases and its mother's age.
- Benjamin Spock

The woman is uniformly sacrificed to the wife and mother.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I'd lose my mind if I heard my kid call the nanny Mommy.
- Toni Braxton

The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism
and become a fearless is mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly -
indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.
- Arianna Huffington

What is free time? I'm a single mother.
My free moments are filled with loving my little girl.
- Roma Downey

The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light
between the heart and the heavenly Father.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
- Antonio Villaraigosa

My mother was a personal friend of God's.
They had ongoing conversations.
- Della Reese

Of all the roles I've played, none has been as fulfilling as being a mother.
- Annette Funicello

How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are,
we must know our mothers names.
- Alice Walker

I've been through it all, baby, I'm mother courage.
- Elizabeth Taylor

A woman must combine the role of mother,
wife and politician.
- Emma Bonino

Mothers are the necessity of invention.
- Bill Watterson

If there were no schools to take the children away
from home part of the time,
the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
- Edward W. Howe

My mother taught me to treat a lady respectfully.
- Chris Brown

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Mothers don't let your daughters grow up to be models unless you're present.
- Janice Dickinson

When motherhood becomes the fruit of a deep yearning,
not the result of ignorance or accident,
its children will become the foundation of a new race.
- Margaret Sanger

What motivated me? My mother.
My mother was an immigrant woman, a peasant woman,
struggled all her life, worked in the garment center.
- Al Lewis

Giving birth was easier than having a tattoo.
- Nicole Appleton

Motherhood is at its best when the tender chords of
sympathy have been touched.
- Paul Harris

There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing.
- Billy Sunday

Children are the anchors of a mother's life.
- Sophocles

Mommy smoked but she didn't want us to.
She saw smoke coming out of the barn one time,
so we got whipped.
- Loretta Lynn

Motherhood is priced Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
- Helen Hunt Jackson

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of
a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.
- Billy Graham

Who's a boy gonna talk to if not his mother?
- Donald E. Westlake

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up.
I wish my grandmother had done the same.
I wanted my girls to know me.
- Carol Burnett

I am no mother, and I won't be one.
- Brigitte Bardot

My parents, especially my mother, were no influence on me whatsoever.
- Andy Partridge


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