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Cynical Quotes

May you find these motivational Cynical Quotes helpful in your career and in reaching your personal goals in life.

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Related topics: Motivational Cute Whimsey

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

 

It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry


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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Never hold discussions with the monkey
when the organ grinder is in the room.
- Winston Churchill

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish
there was less immaturity in political thinking.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

An unsolicited suggestion is
undistinguishable from a criticism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman

With manners comes insincerity.
Truth is sometimes difficult.
- Bono

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

Man plans, God laughs
- Yiddish Proverb

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill

Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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