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May these quotes about Funnier inspire and motivate you.
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2
This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch
The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Don't threaten me with a dead fish.
- the movie Withnail & I (1987)
The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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